Harry Puttar aur Khufia Gufa

Harjeet Sandhu was behind the bars .... because he had committed the blunder of accusing the Hawaldar of the village - Valminder Brar (Vallu) - of his parents' murder. Somehow, he was having the feeling that he was right. Why else would the headmaster Ali Baba mysteriously disappear on the same night on which he was arrested? But then again, he was dumb you see? He was believing everything that Ali Baba told him, when he never knew Ali Baba personally. He was too dumb to attend the school and otherwise he hardly ever went out.

All the same, he wanted to get out ... and that too quick ... at least that is what the heroes in movies think when they are put behind the bars. He had seen many movies and being a good bacha, he thought that it would be cool to think the same.

Since the law and order situation in the village was not very bad, there were very few prisoners in the village prison. His cell also had one prisoner (who arrived a month after Harry) - by the name of some Michael Scofield, whom he (of course, being from a nice family - the Sandhus), did not know personally. This Michael person seemed a little mad and had loads of funny tattoos on his whole body, because of which he was suffering from skin cancer. He kept muttering something about a brother and breaking out of the prison. Our now-a-shade-brighter-Harjeet Sandhu could at least make out that he too, like Harry, wanted to break out of prison, and that too quick.

So Harjeet teamed up with this Michael person and one fine night, when the skies were clear and the dogs were barking, they both broke out of the prison. A stout person, by the name of Lincoln Burrows also escaped with them. Michael said that they were brothers, but Harry was smart enough to make out that he was lying - after all they did not share the same surname you see? So off they went. However, while escaping, the highly sensitive pressure sensors placed at critical locations in the prison (namely the toilet seat) went off (This silly Lincoln person wanted to get relieved before he made a dash). Harry made a run for his life and later on got the news that these brothers were caught and were now back in the jail.

Now he was free and his sole aim in life was to punish his parents' murderer(s). He (of course) thought that Vallu was the man. He just had to come up with a way to punish him. And then there was the problem of him being a convict on the lose and his only source of inspiration - headmaster Ali Baba was also missing.

One night, when he had set up a temporary base in the ganne ke kheth (sugarcane farms) of his neighbor Ronaldhino Wheesy (Ron), he heard some voices and when he tried to locate its source, he found there, lying on a sofa, unharmed and enjoying the company (and services) of Pammi Anderson, was Ali Baba! Thoroughly confused, he was not in a position to say anything, when Ali started to explain .... "Look Harjeet", he said, "it is not what you are thinking ... so stop thinking whatever you are thinking". When Harry stopped thinking whatever he was thinking, Ali continued "Yes I was not abducted on the night that you were put behind the bars. I had to think of a plan to get you out. So I framed that Lincon person for a horrible crime and hoped that you could get a good company in there and that there might be a better chance of your escaping too ... Two is better than one after all!".

Harry was still confused. He said that Ali had told him that Vallu was after his parents' 'Money'. Ali Baba was taken aback on this and Pammi's eyes had a new glitter. But then Ali told him something - about the secret cave where his parents stored all the money they had - the Khufia Gufa. He told Harry (and Pammi) that the cave was full of dangers, like a handful of blood thirsty ants, flying venomous frogs etc etc (he was making things up as he spoke). Taking inspiration from the movies that he watched, he declared that he would go in the cave alone and retrieve whatever was hidden inside. He could not afford to put the lives of the only person he trusted and the most beautiful person in the village in jeopardy. Ali and Pammi were relieved upon hearing this.

So he went to the secret cave, which opened near the residence of Baba 'Bholenath Dum-Dum Wale'. As he entered the cave, he saw a horrible sight - it seemed that it was the village compost pit ... but trusting Ali Baba, he went inside. And soon enough, he crossed the garbage dump. Behind this dump, was the hidden treasure of his parents - a pile of gold and a mirror. He picked up the pile of gold and started adjusting his hair style, looking in the mirror. And then it happened - he saw his parents in the mirror and they were pointing towards something which looked like a portal on the other side of the cave. He crossed the portal and reached some unknown place. Looking down, he found a note, signed by his parents. On it, was written

Do not trust Ali Baba, you dumbo! Do not trust him. I repeat ... Do not trust Ali Baba you dumbo! Do not trust him.

-Your father Jagteshwar Sandhu (James)
-Your mother Leela Sandhu (Lily)

Now Harjeet was confused!

Harry Puttar aur Baba ka pathar

Once upon a time, in a far away village in Punjab, there was a small happy family - The Sandhus. They had one kid - named Harjeet Sandhu . Of course, as is usually the case with people having such names, he was nicknamed 'Harry'.

Our Harry was a dumbo ... I mean really ... he could not understand anything - not even simple things like The Special Theory of Relativity. He was also very forgetful. So forgetful that some people even thought that he was suffering from Alzheimer disease at such a tender age. Owing to his forgetfulness, his parents carved a tilted 'S' on his forehead - to denote that he was one of the 'Sandhus' so that if he ever gets lost, at least people know that he belongs to the 'Sandhus' and should drop him home.

His parents used to call him Harry Puttar where puttar stands for son. But dumb that he was, he started thinking that his name was Harry Puttar and not Harjeet Sandhu (he had no friends and did not roam out of the house. So not many people bothered to call him with his real name).

When he was 10 years old, his parents bought a new tractor. One year after they bought it, they went out to attend a wedding in another village. But they never came back. Investigations conducted by the local police station revealed that they were mysteriously killed when they had an accident with a tree on the road side. Most people couldn't find the mystery in it. But the headmaster of the only school in Harjeet's village - Ali Baba- knew it. A stone was found near the place where the tractor had rammed into the tree. Ali Baba instantly recognized the stone - it was a cursed stone, which belonged to the Baba 'Bholenath Dum-Dum Waale'. He only could do such powerful magic and curse a stone so that it mysteriously positioned itself in path of the tractor and made it crash in the tree.

Ali Baba tried to tell this to the villagers, but owing partly to the faith the people had in the Baba and partly to the fact that this was a ridiculous theory, the villagers ignored him. But he did not stop here. He went to Harjeet and told him his theory. Dumb as our Harry was, he immediately clung to this theory and made a woe to punish the Baba for his mysterious and evil deed. Of course there was no proof that this theory was true, but Harry was dumb you see.

The next time our Baba Bholenath Dum-Dum Waale made a trip to the village, Harry went to him at night, accompanied by the doddering headmaster Ali Baba. Baba Bholenath Dum-Dum Waale was aghast at their appearance at such odd hour - it was after all 9:30 PM and he was watching a repeat of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, along with his girl friend Pammi Anderson (you-know-who). Harry at once tried to strangle Baba. Dumb that he was - he didn't even ask him whether he had anything to do with the murder. But Ali Baba stopped him. He had other plans for Baba. He wanted him to die slowly and painfully.

Baba, intelligent that he was, tried to make the maximum out of this opportunity. He tried to strike a conversation. He at least wanted to know what he was being punished for. Harry told him everything. After listening to the story, Baba told him that he had sensed that Harjeet Sandhu's parents were in mortal danger at that time and so he enchanted the stone in question to save their lives. But he was too late. He could not place the stone there in time. He also told them that since the enchantments were not fully used, they could be used to make Harry a shade brighter.

And so, a-shade-brighter-Harjeet Sandhu emerged from the cottage of Baba Bholenath Dum-Dum Waale, who resumed watching the repeat of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. The question was, that if he did not kill Harry's parents, then who did? He was certain that they were murdered and the accident was not the fault of his father (after all he had been riding the tractor for nearly an year now and it had been almost 19 days since he had received a temporary driving license).

Seeing that he was confused, Ali Baba suggested the name of the Hawaldar of the village - Valminder Brar. He was a cunning and evil fellow after all and it must be him who killed there parents. But our Harry was a shade brighter now (remember?). So he asked the basis of such a theory. Ali Baba was taken aback. He had not expected this from Harry. So as randomly as he had suggested the name of Valminder (Vallu), he said 'Money'. Harry was convinced.

He went after Vallu alone this time. Vallu heard what he had to say and put him behind the bars for good. Also, he heard the next day that Ali Baba had mysteriously vanished - no one was able to locate him in the village. Now he was left alone - with no parents and the only other person he trusted more than his life - Ali Baba also gone. And he was alone ......

The indian Politics

For nearly a decade (at least) now, Indian Politics is known for its decision making - or the lack of it. The Government of India just can't make a decision on its own. It has to consult each and every party, and lately, each and every member of such 'parties', which extends its 'support' to the government. Here, 'support' refers to the practice of sticking with the government "only for confidence vote". Otherwise, the government has to abide by every whim of the 'supporting parties'. So with this understanding, Lalu extended support, of course in return for the Railway Ministry. The Left, however, extended support, in return for a full control over the government. As a result, the biggest decision of the government in the past 5 years was to ban 'Da Vinci Code' for a week in India.

It is now more of a trend - if you want something, you just want the govt. to, well, listen to your needs. And to do that, you just have to protest - violence always comes in handy. This was evident from the Gujjar agitation (yeah I am against it ... and any other kind of quota ... for anyone that is). The government anyway, and this is common knowledge, cannot deal with the people with an iron fist. So there you go. You want something - you protest violently. You don't want something - again you protest violently. And the govt. will not curb your agitation. Instead, it will bend again. Of course if it is something good that you want (like lifting the faculty-quota for IITs), the govt., on the advice of some of its 'supporting members/parties', will set up a committee and the usual tale follows.

But then came the 1-2-3 deal. And the Left, known it is for its anti-US propaganda, vehemently opposed it. But this time I think the govt. did a commendable job by going ahead with it, in spite of having to let the Left withdraw its support. The thing is, that it is not just this deal that is of importance. More important is the fact that the govt. has shown that, well, it can take some decisions at least. Some decisions of importance.

There was also a feeling of Déjà vu. It seems that this UPA govt. is in the habit of putting its seats of power in jeopardy - the prime minister's seat in particular. But then again, this time it was different. This time it was for the country, whereas the previous time, when Sonia withdrew from the post, she was afraid. Going by the history, it is clear that she was afraid. There was way too much opposition.

Chalo jo hota hai ache ke liye hi hota hai

Looking forward for some more of such good, strong decisions from the government. And to a slowing inflation of course :)

How to crack a job in 24 hours - Part II

So we are back! I had (kind of) jotted down the points required for the HR part of the interview. But obviously answering the questions is not all that is important. Moving on - the stress interview!

There are a few points that you should keep in mind when you discover that you are undergoing a stress interview (they, of course, are not going to tell you that they are going to take a stress interview next). So once you discover that its a stress interview, keep in mind that they are in more stress than you can ever be . So all that matters is that you should keep your calm. Never, ever start barking back. There are more elegant ways of handling the situation. Wit matters. Moreover, usually they try to make you contradict your self. A pretty trick. So you will have to choose your answers carefully and you should (of course) be able to justify them fully. Thats all that can be said about the stress interviews.

Now comes the confidence. So bear this in mind - 'You are the best candidate for this job'. Again this might not be true (in most cases this is not true in fact :D), but this is what you have to convey across. Confidence plays a very important role in this. As mentioned in the first part, if you are (for some reasons) not feeling confident, then feign it .... it helps. Lie with a straight face if you need to :D. Poker face helps. Remember that they are more tensed than you are ... take advantage of this :).

The other points are pretty obvious - something to eat and drink should be in your bag. A handful of resumes is a must. A pen and some A4 sheets are helpful - gives a good impression if they don't have to provide you with the writing pad to solve the questions :).

And yeah ... enjoy the interview :D